Band Aids

It's a good thing i really hate pain...or the thin red line on my wrist would be a bigger problem right now. :/ this is the second time in my entire life i've tried to cut myself...the first time was back in june, after my mother screamed at me how much of a terrible person i was for cutting my hair the way i did. i tried using little green scissors that were in my room. but they wont sharp, they broke skin slightly, but it was gone by the following week. tonight i used scissors again, but these were bigger, and sharper...they broke skin and caused a little bleeding. its now covered with an orange and yellow mickey mouse bandaid.
I never thought i'd be one of those people...the ones to actually hurt themselves. Im not saying its a habit, i could never keep doing this to myself continuously. But i just never thought it would be something i even attempted. I really hope this is the last time i'm driven to this point.
ugh this sucks...just yesterday i had been to write about the amazing and refreshing weekend i had with all the chirch teenagers!...and as if it doesnt happen enough, something had to shoot my balloon down...i cant wait for the day i leave this place, and really start my life. it'll be better times, i'll be in a new place, doing things i trully love. i'll be happier, i know i will. i've got less than a year to go...i can make it!

"When life starts to burn
and the pain returns,
I just wish that I could
heal the hurt you feel tonight."